blogging, Crafting to lose weight, dealing with food cravings, emotional eating, Food Addiction, losing weight, Maintaining Weight Loss, optifast, problem solving, setting goals, weight loss journal, Writing

I’ve got the Transition Blues!

Do you have a food monster in your brain?
Do you have a food monster in your brain?

You would think that I’d be thrilled to finally be eating, but I’m actually not finding it as exciting as I’d imagined.  Transition has brought back an old nemesis that I thought I’d left behind; HUNGER.I hadn’t actually felt hungry since my second week on Optifast.  Now, because my digestive system has been kicked back into action, I find myself watching the clock, waiting for my next shake, or my one meal of 4 oz. of protein and a cup of veggies.

My recent hunger  has conjured another familiar fear; food obsession.  Before my classes at the bariatric center and my time on Optifast, my waking hours were spent thinking about what I would be eating next. I’d mentally prepare meals before I ever set foot in the kitchen, and a trip to the grocery store was equivalent to a day in Disneyland. Being on Optifast briefly halted that.

Yesterday, as I drove home from the gym, I found myself mentally preparing and eating dinner.  Granted, I was mentally preparing an egg white omelet with spinach, red onion, green peppers and mushrooms–not a bad meal.  But, what frightened me was the way I was thinking about food. These were thoughts that went beyond the  normal, “Hey I’m gonna make an omelet for dinner.   It was sensory; I was seeing it, smelling it and tasting it with my massive imagination.

I turned on the radio and broke my gustatory reverie with thoughts of swimming, power walking, and recumbent elliptical conquering, but I couldn’t shake the nagging feeling that over-imagining my dinner was a problem; a diet sin that was just as bad as sneaking a piece of chocolate cake.

I’ve made so much progress, and I haven’t physically cheated on my meal plan,ever, so why do I feel guilty for thinking about my next meal, beyond regular planning? Why is their so much confusion for me where food is concerned?  Why can’t I be passé about food like “normally weighted” people seem to be?  I’ve heard my size 8 friends casually say, “Oh, gosh, no wonder I’m hungry, I forgot to eat lunch.”  I don’t propose to skip a meal, because I know that’s not good, but how does one not care enough about food to forget to eat?

Perhaps I’m worrying too much about this.  I know the proper thing to do is to make a written plan for my meals one week in advance and to enjoy them as I mindfully eat.  I also know that I have other experiences that I can replace my food thoughts with.  I can mentally plan vacations or shopping trips,  revisit fun with a friend, think about my cats, my blog, or my latest needle-felting project.  I guess I’m just wondering when it gets easy, natural, and casual?  When will I make the transition from “OMG FOOD, NOM, NOM, NOM!!!!” to ” Hmm, I think I’ll make an omelet for dinner tonight” ?

I know I’m strong and I can work through these worries.  I’ve just been sailing through this whole thing so successfully, that the return of my old way of thinking has surprised me.  I know it will get easier and that I’ll find a balance. 🙂

Do you struggle with food obsession/shame or have you conquered it? Please share your secrets in the comments. 🙂

 

 

 

22 thoughts on “I’ve got the Transition Blues!”

  1. Great post! I know that when I am feeling down, food is an almost irresistible source of comfort. I don’t know if I’ve conquered that yet, but it does help me to be mindful and more aware in each moment of my thoughts about eating and the experience of eating, too.

  2. I just can’t imagine that this is not a normal part of the process involved in eating again. Yes, it would scare me a bit, but I can’t imagine that fantacizing about food could be as bad as sneaking a piece of cake, as you say here. Hang in there. I don’t know much about this topic, but I would guess this is a normal part of the process??????

    Hugs from Ecuador,
    Kathy

    1. Hi Kathy! I’m sure hoping so! I meet with the dietician and the doctor tomorrow, so I’ll be asking them. I’m being good and not veering from my plan physically, but mentally is another story. Today, was better because I hung out with my best friend all day. I think right now the trick is to stay busy. 🙂 It’s really good to hear from you, my friend! 🙂

  3. Hello there! Great post!… How wonderful to see your post. I have no words of wisdom to share but am curious if there is a support group where you can attend meetings or gatherings to share concerns and successes? Perhaps you’ve shared this information and I just need to get to that post. 🙂 Cheers!

    1. Hooray!! I’m smiling from ear to ear hearing from you. I hope you’re doing well! The last Thursday of the month is our support day and I certainly will be attending! Luckily, I see the dietician and the doctor tomorrow, so I’ll ask their advice. Take care, Maria! 🙂

    1. It’s something I’m just going to have to work through. I trust myself not to cheat or overeat because I’m very committed to this and I’m weighing, measuring and journaling everything I eat. I was just sort of not expecting the feelings that I’m having now about food. I’ll get through it!
      My husband is a big grouch if he doesn’t get his meals in! He has really fast metabolism and burns up what he eats really quickly. 🙂

  4. I love your honesty. I think for most of us that are or have been overweight, trying to lose weight is hard. You’ve been lucky to have an easy first part, that will give you strength for struggles ahead. We’re all here to support you. I do best when I don’t obsess over food for sure. I try to distract myself too. That seems to work the best. It helps me so much to always remind myself of how I want my life to be like and why.

    1. Thank you for your support! I certainly feel happily supported here 🙂 ❤ ! I think keeping busy is my best bet, too! Today, I went shopping with my best friend, and not having to shop in the plus section was certainly motivation to keep going, as well as my own desire to be healthy! 🙂

  5. You ARE strong and you CAN do this, but you’re also human too and you’re just entering a new phase of your plan. I think your fears are completely natural and will pass quickly xx every so often my old food feelings grab me and I stuff my face for an entire day, albeit still eating only my healthy choices, just lots of them, and then I end up awake all night in discomfort (so why do I do it???) The next day I cut right back and remind myself that that was yesterday and is not forever and it’s now passed and I move on without berating myself as i would have done in the past xx

    1. Thank you for your kind words, Elaine. I hope these fears do pass quickly. Forgiving yourself and doing better the next day is the very best thing to do. This is certainly excellent advice. 🙂 ❤ I'm just going to keep plugging along and doing my very best! xx

  6. Perhaps these doubts are remnants of the past, from a different you. Planning is important, and you’ll do great with your new WOE. We’ll be here to support you!

    Rob

    1. That’s a good point, Rob. I’m a new me and I shouldn’t let an old pattern of thinking surprise or concern me. I’m just going to stick with my original plan and work through it. Thank you for your support! 🙂

  7. You are indeed strong and can through this Hon! One thing I do sometimes is somehow take satisfaction in that little burning sensation you get in your stomach sometimes when you are really hungry…I imagine it being my fat cells converting to…well to something (I was absent that day!).

    But I know people, and ….okay, I don’t know people. I know one person…extremely well…and I have faith in you! Everybody who reads your blog is routing for you too!!!

    1. Thank you, sweetie! I know you’re my number one fan! I actually think the same thing when my stomach is gnawing; fat cells aren’t really burning, but it’s nice to think that they are! I love you!

    1. Luckily, I’m doing pretty well now, especially since the doctor shared that my thoughts were normal. I just try my best to keep the things that tempt me out of the house and to keep busy when I begin thinking about food. I just hope they’ll be that day when food isn’t the first thing I think about when I’m stressed or anxious. I hope with enough practice of doing the right thing that doing the wrong thing won’t even cross my mind. Only time will tell! 🙂

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