The decision to begin my weight loss journey was a difficult one. Over the years, food had become a replacement for a number of things that were missing in my life. Filling my stomach was my way of filling a void that I thought was beyond my control to seal. Giving up the carbohydrate-laden, sugar-filled foods that temporarily gave me a sense of contentment, and replacing them with five Optifast shakes a day for nearly 18 weeks absolutely terrified me.
I had to wait two weeks for my first appointment at the bariatric center from the day that I initially worked up the courage to call them. During that span of time, I despondently said my final farewells to all of my favorite dine-in and fast food restaurants by visiting and ordering all of my favorite dishes. I cooked all of the delicious comfort foods that my mom used to make and gorged on their doughy, sugary, buttery goodness. I ate when I was ravenous and when I was stuffed. I ate until I was sick and ashamed. I was like an alcoholic going on the biggest bender of their lifetime. Except my drug of choice was food and I was terrified of feeling deprived. Deprivation meant that the void that I’d worked so desperately to satisfy would be left empty and exposed.
Now at the beginning of my sixth week of weight loss, I can’t believe the changes that are happening to me. Yes, I’m shrinking a bit on the outside, but I’m growing exponentially on the inside. This break from food is allowing me to fill my void with other things; things that are healthy, sustaining, and edifying. In just six short weeks I’ve lost fears, accepted love, made friends, found opportunities, learned to live in the moment, and reconnected with people and activities that make me a happy, whole, connected and extremely satisfied person. So far, my fears are unfounded; I am not deprived.
If you’ve lost weight, or are in the process, what fears did/do you have about changing your way of eating? What positive habits have you added to replace overeating? Please share 🙂