I took my oldest daughter to the hospital lab and then to the infusion center this morning for treatment for her ectopic pregnancy. Because it was caught so early, she was able to avoid surgery by a methotrexate injection. My daughter and I love spending time together, but this was the most heart-wrenching outing we’ve had together.
After her lab work, we had several hours to kill, and she needed to eat. I offered to take her to her favorite breakfast spot, good ol’ Cracker Barrel. After all, buttery golden pancakes, smothered in genuine Vermont maple syrup has been known to have anti-depressant qualities. She insisted that she could just grab something small through a drive through because she didn’t want me to have to endure a restaurant. Today wasn’t about making me comfortable, it was about taking care of my daughter. I came prepared. I had a premade shake in the car, and a baggie full of decaf tea in my purse. Though food may be my drug of choice, it’s unavoidable and if I want to share life experiences with others, being with them while they eat is part of that.
The hostess’s eyes gleamed with recognition when she saw me. It’s been almost two weeks since the hubs and I grubbed out on a Sunrise Sampler. Jenny, our waitress, who had probably placed at least a hundred pieces of bacon in front of me over the years, seemed suspicious when I only ordered hot water to make my decaf tea in (they only had Earl Grey in decaf, yuck!).
I’m not going to glorify things and say that my delicious Optifast shake made me so full that my stomach didn’t do a flip-flop when my daughter’s meal arrived. I’m also not going to falsely state that the stress and sadness of the day didn’t trigger my desire to pig out, because it really, really did. I could have easily given in and rationalized and justified my eating high fat, high cholesterol comfort foods, but for today I didn’t. I drank my tea and talked to my sweet daughter, and thought about things that matter. Sadness and discomfort aren’t things that can be fixed with food.
What motivates you to make better food choices? Tell me in the comments below.